Tuesday, February 28, 2006

holy crap

its been a while since ive posted anything. im going to have to do that soon.

posted by veganerd at 1:57 PM 0 comments

Sunday, February 12, 2006

happy birthday!!!


today is charles darwins birthday!!! wooo hooo!!! take some time and read up on evolution if you dont know much about it. heres a nifty quote from him. one of my favorites. it completely sums up why creationists cant seem to get a grasp on reality.

"but the chief cause of our natural unwillingness to admit that one species has given birth to other and distinct species,is that we are always slow in admitting any great change of which we do not see the intermediate steps...the mind cannot possibly grasp the full meaning of the term of a hundred million years; it cannot add up and perceive the full effects of many slight variations accumulated during an almost infinate number of generations.

posted by veganerd at 10:21 AM 0 comments

Thursday, February 09, 2006

batter up


for the past several months ive been carrying around one of those miniature baseball bats. whenever i encounter someone who claims to be a psychic i walk up behind them and bean them in the back of the head. not one "psychic" has ever seen it coming. im starting to think that theres no such thing.

posted by veganerd at 3:55 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

the power of prayer

i was actually raised in a cult. you may have had some of its members come and knock on your door. you guessed it.....jehovahs witnesses. but around the age of 13 i started to develop some critical thinking skills and realized i was living a rather goofy existence. all those cultish rituals...meetings and prayers. so i decided to do an experiment on the power of prayer. all my life i had been praying for everything and everyone i knew was asking for shit in jesus' name also. i wanted to see if prayer accomplished anything. my hypothesis was that if i prayed to something else then none of my prayers would be answered. so looking around the room i searched for something to pray to..something i could always take with me. then it hit me. i could pray to one of my testicles. but which one? not wanting to show favoritisim i decided to pick one at random. i spun in circles then pointed to one which happened to be my left one. so for the next month i prayed all the time to my left nut. amen. i carefully charted the outcomes of my prayers and at the end noticed something quite astonishing. my prayers to my genital were answered at the same 50-50 rate that my previous prayers to god were. i was flabergasted. this was big news! plus being a 13 year old boy it was wonderful to have such a neat deity to pray to. and i even came up with all kinds of interesting ways of daily worship....uuhhh wait maybe that should be private between me and my deity. so anyways back to my point. prayers are goofy and they are a waste of time. so knock it off allready.

posted by veganerd at 9:22 AM 2 comments

wooo hoooo censorship

ooops ive gone and upset some christians. i posted a comment on this ladys blog. i didnt say anything terrible. all i said was "i think youre funny. i also write about christians on my blog." apparently she doesnt like my blog so she deleted my comment from her site. and had this to say

" Dear Veganerd,

I deleted your comment for the sake of those who may follow the link to your blog and be offended by the profanity.

Feel free to email me directly.

Seek Truth and question everything. That which is valid will stand.

~Amanda"

she thinks she needs to protect others from words on my site. she must be best friends with john ashcroft. naturally i had to send her a reply. so i wrote "what kind of fucktard is offended by profanity? im offended by you finding me offensive." seeing as i was watching that 70's show at the time and having eaten some special oreos i couldnt stop laughing. im still waiting for her to reply but i dont think she will.

sometimes the best answer is a funny one.

posted by veganerd at 7:53 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

everybody was kung fu fighting...

i will never understand all these dorks who believe in reincarnation and past lives. what a crock of shit. why is it that they all claim to be beautiful and or famous people from recent history? everybody wants to be cleopatra, joan of arc or alexander the great. no one brags about how in a past life they were a pedophile or chicken fucker. ive also never heard anyone claim they were a caveman or the virgin mary. the next time one of these fucktards engages you and attempts to explain how they were so and so from back whenever just nod your head and listen intently. when its your turn to speak tell them about how in a past life you were a great kung fu master and then kick them in the crotch.

posted by veganerd at 9:33 AM 0 comments

Monday, February 06, 2006

more morons






people have died because of these cartoons. how fucking stupid is that? muslims stoning and burning buildings are trying to outdo christians on the stupid chart.

posted by veganerd at 8:40 PM 0 comments

keep yer stories straight

if you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me.
dont judge or question.
you are broken now,
but faith can heal you.
just do everything I tell you to do.


the sad thing about religious peoples is their lack of ability to think for themselves . of course there are non-religious people who suffer from this most unfortunate affliction as well. here is a simple test to show that either christians cant think for themselves or dont really read up on the dogma they spew from their mouths. The next time you have one of these fucknobs crapping out relegion from their gab-hole, confront them with this basic question. ask which creation story from the bible they choose to believe in. this usually elicits a “what the hell you talking bout willis” type of response and heres why. most christians dont read the fucking bible they pretend they worship so much. the rest just cant think hard enough to notice that there are two completely different stories within the first two chapters of genesis. what a horribly written book. the authors couldnt even keep the first two fucking chapters straight. what kind of moron would even keep reading it if its supposed to be true? would you read a book on the history of the television if on the first page it said that the tv was invented before the dvd player and on the second page it said it was the other way around? wouldn’t you conclude that the book was wrong and not worth reading? i just dont get how people can base their whole lives on something and not question it enough to see how ridiculous it is.

posted by veganerd at 8:23 PM 0 comments

animal quackers


promoters of homeopathy need to be kicked in the kidneys. not just because they lack the brain function to realize what they believe in is pure shit quackery but because they are seen as being health nut wackos, they get lumped in with other people who shop at health food stores. namely people like myself. i hate going into a co-op to pick up some vegan spicy "chicken" patties and being forced to walk past the "health" and beauty care aisle. there seems to be no shortage of mental defectives wanting to sell some stupid parent a vial of oscillococcinum for their childs flu. for those of you who dont know what oscillococcinum is i will let you know. like all homeopathic pills they are made of sugar, mostly lactose. heres how its made. first at the factory they kill a duck. they then take out its liver and incubate it for 40 days. then its freeze dried and diluted in water to a "concentration" of 200c. what this means is that its diluted to a ratio of 1:100 to the 200th power. go ahead and write that huge number out. its a 1 with 400 zeros after it. to actually do this would take a container of water about 200,000,000,000 times the size of the earth. they can make the entire worlds supply of oscillococcinum from one duck. obviously being diluted that many times it remains impossible for even one molecule of the liver to end up in the sugar pills. so what homeopathic practitioners claim is that the water just remembers that the liver used to be in it and uses that memory to cure the flu. they actually say that water has a fucking memory! if this was even remotely true then when you spilled water onto the floor then it would remember the shape of your glass land with a thud in the shape of the glass from which it came. also the water would remember that before it ended up in the homeopathic factory it ran through the shower at the y.w.c.a. where a fat sweaty guy used it to wash the sweaty stink off his balls after his ride on the stationary bike. arent you glad water doesnt have a memory? i guess in the future i will write more in depth about the dangers and idiocy behind homeopathy. right now im fuming from seeing a commercial for oscillococcinum. aaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh fuck....people are uneducated and stupid!

posted by veganerd at 12:32 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

debates are fun and im hilarious

what follows is a debate i had over email with a christian. it started on a messge board when among other things a person asked if ultra christians should be viewed as mature. my responses are in red and his are in white.


as far as viewing ultra christians mature, i dont. i feel that any religious person should be treated for the mental disorder they clearly have as they are clearly delusional people. after all if an adult firmly believed in the tooth fairy and and spent much of their time worshiping it with crazy rituals and used the tooth fairy as a justification to oppress others or to lead a country to war then they would be viewed as a wacko and be thrown in the looney bin. but for some illogical reason if a person says they believe instead in an invisible being in the sky that likes to punish others for not believing in him, they are somehow normal?
religions need to go.


I don't wish to hijack the thread, so my reply is private.
It seemed to me your comment showed a total lack of
understanding & a great deal of bigotry.

which comment are you speaking of? i dont feel that any of my views could be considered or viewd as bigotry. but i am always happy to enter into a discussion about them. i look forward to hearing back from you.


he then inserted first comment from me.



whats wrong with that? how does that make me a bigot? would you be saying that if i instead said that i feel that any person with schizophrenia or depression needs to be treated? i think that relegious people are very delusional. why does it bother you?


Sir, are you ignorant or simply hostile to religion?



well i think all sane people should be hostile towards religion. but why would you think i was ignorant? i would understand you thinking i was ignorant if i said i was relegious but i made it clear that i am not. do you disagree with me that its absurd to invent invisible beings with insecurity issues and a thirst for vengance to believe in? i get the feeling that you arent quite as athiest as i am. but its hard to tell what you are really thinking because you havent really answered any of my queries in this discussion.


Do you honestly think you faith in nothing is so superior to any and all other beliefs? jeremy. Do you not see how insulting that is to those who hold other beliefs? you have classed them all as insane & ignorant. That certainly fits the definition of bigotry. bigot - a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own

i never said that i lack faith in anything. i am overflowing with so much faith that it oozes out all over and if you came near me i fear you may slip on it. the difference between my faith and the faith in religious people is that i have faith in real things not imaginary things. for example......even though its currently dark outside my window at the moment i am quite faithful that the sun will be shining in the morning. i also have faith that if i were to stand up quickly then my shiny powerbook would fall to the floor. i also have a tremendous amount of faith that i wont be swept off to oz in the center of a tornado when i go to sleep tonight.

and regarding your definition of bigot then you would have to say that non racist people are bigots too. unless they tolerated racists. and i dont see how being an athiest is insulting to religious peoples. thats like saying that if you are not in a coma then you are being insulting to people who are in a coma.


You misread me, perhaps intentionally. I realize you have a great deal of faith in yourself. Just realize that there may be a great deal that is quite real & very much outside of your limited sight & insight. The definition I gave you was not mine. It is from a dictionary.


i also have faith in things outside of my limited sight. i belive that there are indeed things in the universe that i cant see...distant planets and stars. there are also things on my own body i cant see with my limited sight...not just the back of my head but also very tiny cells that you cant see without a microscope. i have faith that they are there because i have seen them using a microscope. i have faith that they are on yours too. see what religious people fail to realize is that when they make outrageous claims then they also need substantial proof. it works this way in everything. for instance if i said that i have an invisible dragon in my basement that craps gold and pisses out 100 dollar bills then you would certainly want proof before you even started to believe me wouldnt you? wouldnt you think i was crazy? would that make you a bigot? how would you prove me wrong? why is it that no christians belive it when a murder says that god told him or her to kill their victim? you cant prove that god didnt. if there really were the god from the bible then i would have to say that god may have told them to murder that person. the bible is full of stories like that. isnt that cool?


Your photographs are more impressive than your dialectic.
(he was speaking of the photos in my portfolio)


i appreciate your saying that. considering that my dialect is quite impressive then you must think i am quite an amazing photographer. i wouldnt go quite that far since i am a bit more humble about my photo skills. but if you want to hold that opnion that i am one of the most skilled photographers you have ever seen then by all means.......too bad you werent the juror in the last photo competition i entered, i would have been a shoo in to win. alas i am tired and must get to bed for the night. in all honestly i appreciate the conversation with you. i look forward to more healthy and spirited debates in the future. debating ones ideals is very important and people should be able to articulate what they believe in. i wish you did more of that in our conversation and perhaps the next time you will.

once again thank you for your outrageously amazing compliment about my photographs. i always thought i am better at being funny than taking photos. maybe in the future i will send some jokes your way.

good night


the next day,


Funny you should say that. I thought you had been sending jokes all along. If you had shown more respect I might have articulate some of my theological beliefs but I'm not inclined to throw pearls before swine.



nope ive been quite serious. and being vegan i dont wear pearls. i never understood the desire to pry open an animal in the hopes of finding a particualr waste product to wear around your neck. it would be much like me ripping into your intestines hoping to find a polyp in your colon and making it into jewlery. gross huh. i guess thats why you would be throwing them down in the first place. and why would you throw them in front of a pig anyway? and why would you call me a pig? did i exhibit the characteristics of pigs somehow? i certainly dont take offense to you calling me swine because they are fairly intelligent animals and actually pretty clean too. most people dont know that about them because they only see them in the terrible conditions they are forced to live in on farms.

i certainly would still love to hear some of your religious theories.


Apparently, metaphor is also beyond your grasp, or perhaps you simply wish to advocate for the Devil.



apparently qucik witted humorus sarcasm is beyond yours. and no i dont advocate for any mythical beings like trolls, goblins, santa clause, gods or devils. but seriously why wont you share your theories? my theory says its because you feel silly and your theories dont stand up to my previous arguments. but thats just my theory and i havent yet tested it using the scientific method. but as a christian (just my deduction i could be wrong) doesnt your god mandate that you must try to make people like me believe in him? i fear that you are making him angry and he may smite you as he did to the following....

(the intelligent reader is welcome to skip the pages of verses. scroll cown to the *)

The entire population of the earth at the time of Noah, except for eight survivors, in a flood. "And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth; and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark." Gen 7:23 [Jehovah, the first mass-murderer, starts His bloody career.]

Every inhabitant of Sodom and Gomorrah, and the surrounding plain, by "brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven." Gen 19:24 Lot and his family fled. [What about little innocent children in the city and around on the surrounding plain.]

All the first born of every family in Egypt, including children of those in dungeons and the successor to the throne of Egypt's Pharaoh, by God on the first Passover night. Ex 12:29 [Of those that are in prison and the first born of the cattle??????]

All the hosts of Pharaoh, including the captains of 600 chariots, who drown in the Red Sea while pursuing the Israelites. "... and the Lord overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea." Ex 14:27-28

Victims who perish in the conquest of seven nations in Canaan by the Jews under Gods guidance so that the Jews can occupy their lands as God had promised Abraham in Deut 7:1,2. The Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites were all destroyed, every man, woman and child and mercy was shown to none.

Amalek and his people, by the edge of the sword, because God wants to fight with Amalek from generation to generation . The Israelites win if Aaron helps Moses to hold up his hands. Ex 17:11,16

3,000 Israelites die at the hands of their brothers, the Levites, every man, their brothers and their companions. Ex. 32:27

Rulers of Israel, eleven in number after spying for forty days that wouldn't invade the Promised Land are killed by a plague. Num. 14:37

250 Levite princes of the Jews who challenged the leadership of Moses. When Moses points out the injustice of killing the whole congregation God relents briefly, then swallows up two of the princes, "their wives, sons and little children", then sent a fire to consume the remaining princes. Num. 16:1-40

14,700 people die by plague who protest to Moses about the prior killing of the 250 princes. Aaron makes an atonement to stop the plague. Num 16:41-49

The Canaanites at Hormah, utterly destroyed, every man woman and child, by God at the request of the Jews. Num 21:3 The Amorites at Hesbon, Israel "took all these cities". Moses sums up the slaughter: "We... utterly destroyed the men and the women and the little ones." Num 21:25 and Deut 2:34

All the sons and subjects of Og, about whom the Lord said to Moses: "Fear him (the king of Bashan) not, for I have delivered him into thy hand." None was left alive. Num 21:34-35
24,000 Israelites who cohabitated with Moabite women and worshiped Baal. "And the Lord said to Moses, take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun..." Num 25:4,9

All the males and the kings of the Middianites, because they worshiped idols, and all their wives and male children were sold into slavery. "And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, vex the Midianites, and smite them." Num 25:16-17 and Num 31:7-8

The subjects of two kingdoms on the east side of the Jordan, in order that Reuben and Gad might seize the land for their own as a gift from God. Num 32

The Ammonites, decimated by the Lord so that Lot might possess their land. Deut 2:19-21

The Horims, slain by God in order that Esau might take their land. Deut 2:22

All the citizens of Jericho, except for a whore and her family. "And they utterly destroyed all in the city, man and woman, young and old, and ox... with the edge of the sword." Josh 6 "They" make a grisly game of it , using the superstitious number 7 popular in the Bible.

12,000 men, women and children die in a treacherous ambush conceived and directed by God. Joshua, with the usual mindless hocus-pocus, holds out his spear until all the inhabitants are dead. The city was then burned. Afterwards Joshua builds an altar and offers thanks to God. Josh 8:1-30

All the people of Makkedah, and their king hanged, by Joshua. Joshua 10:28

All the people of Libnah. Not a soul remained. Joshua 10:29-30

All the people of Gezer, with none remaining, are killed. Josh 10:33

All the people of Eglon, none remaining, are killed. Joshua 10:34-35

All the people of Hebron, "All the cities and souls that were in them". Joshua 10:36-37

All the inhabitants of the country of the hills, and the south of the vale, and the springs and their kings, he left none remaining but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God of Israel commanded. Joshua 10:40

The inhabitants of Gaza, Askerlon, and Ekron, killed by Judah and Caleb. Judges 1:18-19

10,000 Moabites, killed by the Israelites. Judges 3:29

10,000 Perizzites and Canaanites die at the hand of Judah and Simeon. Judges 1:4

120,000 Midianites die by the hands of Gideons three hundred men. Judges 8:10

50,070 people of Bethshemesh, struck dead by God because a few of them looked at/into the Ark carrying the stone tablets. 1st Samuel 6:19

70,000 victims die of a pestilence sent by God because David took a census. 11 Sam 24:15
Although Adam and Eve have no sense of right and wrong when they eat of the Tree of Knowledge, God accuses them of sinning and tosses them out of their home. Prejudging the human race he then decrees that all shall suffer for this "sin" by returning to the dust from which Adam was made. The Christian God curses women with painful birth. Gen 3

Cain kills Abel because God is partial to altar sacrifices, preferring animals to grain. Gen 4

At the time of the Flood, a disaster not uncommon to the tradition of other religions, Noah, an imbiber, and his family are the only persons deemed righteous enough to be saved from drowning. All others, including pregnant women and children, are given no opportunity to survive the rising waters. Gen 7,8

Again attributing sin to innocents God fails to find even 10 persons, or embryos in any stage of gestation, saintly enough to escape the fire and brimstone
God turns Lots wife into a pillar of salt when she looks back in horror at what is happening to her friends and neighbors. Gen 19

Abraham is certainly willing to do what ever the Lord demands of him, even when God orders him to kill his son. But all turns out Ok when an angel yells really loud to Abraham that it was just a test to see how much he loved God. Isaac is very lucky indeed. Abraham may have been near deaf at his age and the Angel was calling long distance from heaven. Gen 22

When Sarah gets jealous and insists, proven Abraham consigns Hagar and Ishmael to the deserts to die. Gen 21

Pharaoh orders all midwifes to strangle new born Jewish children. Of course they refused. Pharaoh then orders them to throw the babies into the river. Ex 1:18,22

Moses kills an Egyptian deliberately for beating an Israelite. Ex 2:12
He then becomes God's Lawgiver. One of his commandments straight from God is thou shalt not kill

God tries to kill Moses, because his son by a Middianite woman is not circumcised. His wife, angered, circumcises the boy with a sharp rock and throws the foreskin at Moses's feet. God then lets Moses off the hook. Ex 4:24-26

After first purposely hardening Pharaoh's heart so that he will not see the Israelites free, God, through the black magic of Aarons rod, visits ten terrible plagues upon the unsuspecting Egyptians. Ex 7-11

The needless, brutal slaughter of the Passover night is the intended result of another hardening of Pharaohs heart by an egotistical maniacal God who wishes to parade his power. Ex 12:29

More heart hardening by God causes Pharaoh to chase the Israelites into the Red Sea, where the soldiers die by drowning. Ex 14:28

For "offering strange fire before the Lord", two sons of Aaron, priests of the tabernacle, are struck dead. Lev 10:1-2

A blasphemer curses the name of God in the wilderness camp, and God orders him stoned to death: "And he children of Israel did as the Lord commanded Moses. Lev 24:23

Israelites who complain, with good reason, in the desert, are burned with fire by God in the uttermost parts of the camp. Num 11:1

Seeing that the Jews are dissatisfied on their journey to the Promised Land because they have no flesh to eat as they had in Egypt, God typically loses his temper again and in a childish way sends a vast excess of quail, enough to cover the ground a days travel in each direction and they stack up to a height of more than 3 feet. As the people started to eat the fruits of their labor "God smote them with a very great plague." Num 11:31-33

The Israelites are forced to wander for 40 years in the desert so that the older people would die. Num 14

A man caught picking up sticks on the Sabbath is ordered by God to be put to death, and the wandering tribes comply. Num15:35-36

Challenge of the authority of Moses by anyone always brought out the worse in God, and he buries alive the wives and children of the two princes who oppose Moses. Num 16:32-35

After striving to reach the Promised Land for forty years, Moses and Aaron are denied entry because Moses had struck a rock in anger to obtain water. Moses is allowed to look at it once though just before he dies. Num 20:11-12 and Deut 34

God turns Miraim into a leper after she criticizes Moses for marring an Ethiopian woman. Such unions were contrary to Jewish custom and also disapproved of by God for everyone except Moses. Num 12:10

*********

man i cant understand why people think hes such a nice guy. id be pissed off if he moved in next to me. i certainly wouldnt want to woship him. id rather worship saddam hussein or george bush. at least those two idiots havent ordered the murder or torture of as many people. theyre dowright saints compared to the god of the christians. oh wait...dont they both make claims to be doing their respective gods work? its really beginging to all come together.......im seeing a pattern here.


I had thought you had been joking but you said "nope ive been quite serious." Are you not a man of your word? You are obviously a man of some passion but I am not impressed with your sincerity. I'll squander my time no more in this senseless dialogue.

the heart of my argument is very serious. there is humor within my arguments but i find that the same mental blockage that leads people to believe in mythology would also prevent them from finding the humor. im sorry you feel your are squandering your time. perhaps if you had given some sort of evidence for your beliefs then you wouldnt feel that way. on the other hand, if you did possess some evidence for your belief then that would easily prove me wrong and im guessing that by now you would love to.

p.s. i am a person of my word. i like to be nice to people and do the morally right thing because its good for individuals and society. i dont feel the need to be good just because some people think there is a carpenter that lived more than two thousand years ago waving his scolding finger at me to be good or he will tell his daddy to lock me in hell to be tortured forever and ever.....as buzz lightyear liked to say "to infinity.....and beyond!!!!"

posted by veganerd at 9:39 PM 0 comments