amen

jokes so good youd think i made them all up myself.



A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five year old daughter. As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.

During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant's head.

With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked: "Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"

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A bus full of nuns plummets off a cliff. They all die. The nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.

"And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.
"Well, now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.

"Well, your holiness," says the Nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"

******************************

One day, a preacher was walking along the street and he comes across a boy with a box filled with newly born kittens.

"Boy, what kind of kittens do you have there?" The preacher asked the young boy.
"They're christian kittens, sir" the boy replied. So the preacher, nods, smiles and walks along. Two weeks later he comes across the same boy and asks "How are those christian kittens doing?" The boy smiles at him, looks up and says "Oh, they're not christian kittens anymore"

The preacher, shocked by this exclaims "What... why not?!?" The boy continues to smile and looks at him, "Well, ya see, now they're eyes are open and they're atheists."