Monday, May 15, 2006

simpleminded simpletons are a growing pain in my ass


recently ive become aware of a couple of douchebags who have a group called the way of the master ministries. its run by two simpletons.... ray comfort(the dumbass from the banana video shown in a previous post) and washed up teen heart-throb kirk cameron (you know mike sever from growing pains). they are all about preaching to victims they find on the streets of california and theyve even got some sort of tv show and dvds theyve produced. their main focus seems to be getting people to admit to being a terrible person who routinely breaks the ten commandments(insert sarcastic shudder here). the way they go about this is to try to trick the person into demonizing themselves by asking a series of yes or no questions that go something like this: one of them will begin by asking...

"do you consider yourself to be a good person?"
the person always seems to say "yes"

he then says "well lets see... have you ever told a lie?"
the reply is always yes so he responds "that makes you a liar."

then he asks "have you ever stolen anyting?"
the answer is usually yes so he calles them a theif.

the third question is "have you ever lusted after someone in your heart?"
of course the answer is also yes so he calls them an adulturer.

finally he asks if they have ever used gods name in vain or as a curse word.
goddamn right most people have. but they just say yeah.

he concludes by puffing up his chest and saying " you see by your own admission you are a lying, theiving, blaspheming, adulterer! you have sinned before god!! bla bla bla!

now this sort of simple minded questioning is astoundingly craptacular. i imagine that when they came up with this lame ass query they sat hunched while tapping the tips of thier fingers together and hissing "eeexxxcccceeelent" as if they were mr. burns. it should be obvious to even those at the bottom of the i.q. bucket that just because you did someting or were someting at one point in time doesnt mean that is who or what you are now. to exemplify this lets see how great a person you are by answering yes or no to my questions. if you happen to meet ray or kirk please pass along my test or have them contact me so i can ask them. or just shove a crap covered stick up their noses.

have you ever been depressed or felt little down?
(havent we all)

have you ever been sick and taken medication?
(hard to say no to this one)

before being potty trained did you wear diapers?
(uuhhhh yeah)

have you always been the age you are now or in the past were you a baby?
(god damn right you were)

have you ever eaten anything?
(amen!!)


so by your own admission you are a mentally ill, drug using, diaper wearing, baby eater!!! you sick fuck youre going straight to hell!!!

4 Comments:

Blogger HeavyDluxe said...

I'll prolly be the first wacko-fundy to comment here... w00t.

Not to defend Ray Comfort (I'm not a real fan of his), but I think your misunderstanding the reasoning behind his questions.

If you will grant, for the sake of argument, that the God of the Bible exists, then you must accept that He's laid out some very clear rules and penalties for violations. Comfort's point is that all of us have broken the rules.

When someone breaks a law here in our world, there is a penalty to be paid... It may be a fine, community service, or even jail time. If the penalty is reduced or (if you're lucky) voided, that's simply the grace of the judge.

Similarly, God's law exacts a penalty for those who don't play by the rules. A single transgression has a huge penalty (because God's standard is perfection) and that penalty must be paid.

The eternal question is who is going to 'do the time'. Either you are, or you'll accept God's gracious gift of peace through Christ. The Bible says that Jesus bore the penalty for our sins so we could have restoration of our relationship with God.

So Comfort's point is correct though his presentation is lacking.

We all have sinned and one, single, even tiny sin is enought condemn us. But that isn't all... We all continue to sin, over and over again. Those sins bear a penalty and someone's going to have to pay it. Who's it gonna be?

7:41 AM PDT  
Blogger veganerd said...

uuuuuhhhh yeah. heres who pays. religious godwads pay with the loss of criticl thought, the ability see the world for how it really is and lots and lots of hedonistic premarital sex. but you arent the only ones who suffer. the rest of us who possess simple reasoning skills suffer from simply being in a world where far too many people live in a fairy tale land of make believe and think that everyone else should too. then they like to oppress or maybe even kill people who believe in fairy tales by different authors. imagine what if would be like for you if you lived in a world where you were of normal adult intelligence but most other people never advanced past the mind of a 5 year old. you going through life trying to educate people who just cant seem to grasp simple ideas or understand the effects of their actions. thats what its like for an atheist living in a world of religion.

so no i wont grant for the sake of argument that the god of the bible exists. and i wont insult you by asking you to grant that the moon is made of cheese and mighty mouse lives there.

11:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap you're funny. You certainly have a very interesting way of making your point.

11:28 AM PDT  
Blogger HeavyDluxe said...

imagine what if would be like for you if you lived in a world where you were of normal adult intelligence but most other people never advanced past the mind of a 5 year old.

It must be tough.

you going through life trying to educate people who just cant seem to grasp simple ideas or understand the effects of their actions. thats what its like for an atheist living in a world of religion.

You can take solace in the fact that we'll all be corrected one day. If that correction means that death is the end, I'll stick with believing the lie... Thanks.

Anyway, thanks for responding... Take care!

12:53 PM PDT  

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